Well, I finally got it done. The old snip-snip. Bye-bye spermies!
Over descriptive story below, feel free to skip to the section between caps to read the anatomically-descriptive procedure.
When I was in highschool I decided I didn’t want to have children. I knew making that choice then could be a mistake, so I waited to act on it. Years after that I go in for a routine check-up and asked my doctor what was needed to get a vasectomy. He mentioned that there was a specialist in the Seattle area that he had worked with. I got the website information and read all about it. My doctor (as well as friends) cautioned me that I could change my mind about children when I was older. As my insurance wasn’t the best, and I couldn’t readily afford it I decided to wait a while and solidify my opinion on it; like a tattoo idea I wanted to make sure I was going to enjoy my decision permanently.
So after a few years wait, seeing where my life went, and patiently waiting to find out if I had a change of heart (I didn’t) I decided it was the right time to get sterilized. I had memorized the website name (DrSnip.com, also thevasectomyclinic.com). I called up and set up an appointment.
I filled out the paperwork online and re-read all the information about it. I informed the fiancée, conducted the recommended man-scaping, and the next day we went to the clinic (I was advised to have a driver). Entering the clinic and going to the front desk I immediately saw the buttons on the counter. There was a sign that said “take one!”. These buttons were plain white, with a red “no” stamp over a caricature of a sperm. The text “DrSnip.com” was easily read below it. A good start.
When I was brought into the procedure room my fiancée and I took a seat on the couch. The assistant described the whole procedure and answered the few questions I had (mostly anatomical). After that was finished the doctor came in and did his best to ensure I knew what I was getting into, and that people could be 100% sure about having this done, only to regret it decades later. I explained that I wouldn’t want to breed anyways as there are enough kids needing adoption in the world. A vasectomy is a major life altering decision; I understood that he wanted to make sure I had no doubt about it. I give him accolades for making sure of this.
He said we were ready to go, and offered to let my fiancée stay in the room to watch. While I wasn’t embarrassed I wanted to do this on my own. She left to the waiting room, and I dropped trow and hopped onto the standard examination room chair. Note that he had wonderful tableside manner and talked to me the whole way through. A bit of a distraction is always nice when someone is messing with your junk, I really did appreciate it.
GROSS PART. No needle, No scalpel described below. Anatomical discussion (aka the good-bits), so the squeamish may want to skip this:
It started with the doctor re-shaving the area at the base of my penis, on the scrotum. I guess my shave job wasn’t up to par, or I’d gained a five’o’clock shadow. He then put surgery paper over my crotch, and flopped my penis up so the base was exposed. First he used a hypo-spray to numb the area. All I felt was a quick snap similar to a rubber band, then nothing. At this point we discussed work while the hypo-spray desensitized the area. I don’t say “numbed” because it didn’t feel numb. I just couldn’t feel it. Soon he asked if this hurt and I asked what he was talking about. Apparently he was pinching the area, the spray had done it’s job.
I asked for a description of how he was doing this. Apparently this tool pokes a hole (not a cut) then slowly opens the area. He massages and adjusts the vasa deferens to move to that area. He inserts a little grabby/hook tool and slowly pulls a bit of one out. He then scrapes off the top layer which is just a protective sheath, and this allows the angel-hair pasta sized vas to pull further out cleanly. He inserts an electro-cautery tool and singes each side of this tube. He then snips it, sows each side (he may have only sown one side), and lets it slip back into the scrotum. He does this one side of the tube he cut at a time, that way they are less likely to be positioned next to each other and re-irrigate.
NO MORE GROSS PART.
Repeat this with the other vasa deferens, and he is done. He puts a little piece of gauze in the area, and I secure it (they had me wear briefs, I usually wear boxers). Then the best part happened: he took the plastic off of something and handed it to me, with a joking “for being brave”. It was a multi-tool with his logo emblazoned on it. Awesome!
The area was senseless for the next hour while I drove home (I decided I could). When I got home I noticed some stiffness, but no real pain. The worst part was just the slightly raw feeling from where my scrotum had been poked.
I slept fine (though very aware of my leg movements. The next day I went back to work, with minimal discomfort. While aware that it was potentially tender, I didn’t have any issue except for when I leaned down to tie my shoe. I managed, but it was uncomfortable.
It isn’t too painful. No needles, no scalpels, just a snap and a poke you don’t notice the difference. I’ll be getting a sperm-count in a few months to make sure I’m clear. Free of charge they offer to recheck as often as needed for peace of mind.